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Against The Science Pirates! - Man Of Steel
Against The Science Pirates!

"Just put the money in the bag..." For the first time in thirty years, Lucky Lawrence's nickname wasn't going to be sarcastic. The hood held a shaky palm out in anticipation, while the other hand kept a silvery pistol trained on the terrified young woman he had cornered.

"J-just let me get this picture of my mom..."

"The whole thing!" What little cool Lawrence had in him evaporated with the stalling tatic, "Now!" And just as his greedy hand wrapped around the purse, Lawrence felt a rush of wind that was all too familiat to Metropolis's criminal element. "...no..."

"Yep." The red and blue form took a heartbeat to solidify, as super-speed became something percievable by the human eye, and the faintly smiling form of Superman hovered in front of the young woman, "Sorry, Larry. Shouldn't have lost your temper with the lady."

"Y-yeah!" Larry shouted, as this was it, pointing his fun at the Man of Tomorrow! "Yo'hearin's always been too good...so th ways I see it, y'gonna hear this loud and clear, man!"

"Your bullets cannot harm me." Superman crossed his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes and preparing to melt the bullets so the richochet off of his skin wouldn't hurt anyone. "Surrender peacefully, and the law will be mercifu-uuuuuuuulllllll!" This shout came with the Man of Steel falling to his knees, clutching his ears while his face twisted in agony.

"The Science Pirates don't need no stinking bullets, Superman!" Larry crowed triumphantly, being careful to hold the fiercly vibrating weapon at Superman's face, "We turned your powers against you, yo! And another thing!" A click of his heels, and Larry was in the air, propelled by the blue flame of a pair of jet boots! "Those tights make you look like a fatty!"

The second the punk was gone, Superman could feel his senses returning to him as the terrible pressure between his ears unclenched itself. He greatfully took an offered hand up, stumbling for a second while he regained his equliberium. "Sorry about that." Superman finally said, smiling a little at the woman. "If this takes longer than a minute, I'll be sure to drop your purse off. I promise." The fact that her eyes believed him gave Superman the strength to get right back on the bull, hurtling into the air!

It didn't take Superman long to find the crude exhaust trail Larry's jet boots were leaving, his super vision working overtime to keep focused. Indulging in a scowl, Superman poured on the speed, ripping through the sky after the self proclaimed pirate, twisting around signs, under monorail tracks, and even through the hole of a giant plastic donut. "Halt!" Superman, finally in yelling range, shouted, "This is your only warni...is that kind of gesture really nessicary, Larry?!"

"Lawrence!" Larry bellowed out mid-rude gesture, turning to make eye contact with the Man of Steel. "Law-Rench! It's not hard, is it? I don't think it's-oh God!"

It was a guilty pleasure of Clark's, seeing the look on a criminal's face as they realized that they had been outfoxed by big, dumb, jockish Superman. Larry stared at his melting jet boots in shock, kicking at the air in an attempt to stay afloat...and managed, through sheer luck, to steer down an open subway staircase! "Darnit." Superman mutters to himself, saying, "Excuse me folks! Sorry! Coming through!" as he raced after the crook! Finally getting to a point where he could see, Superman followed the vapor trail down a broken down monorail track, slowing down measurably as he worked at being more alert for the inevitable-


It caught him by suprise anyway. "Holy cow!" Superman shouted, quickly landing, planting his feet, and pumping his arms up a second before the massive hydroulic press would've smashed his head in like an overripe pumpkin. Struggling against the massive weight above him, Superman juggled which enemies could've planned this; Luthor, Prankster, Toyman-with the startling realization that the weight was...changing. One second, the load was a little easier to bare, another, he felt half of the press shove down harder than the other half...it was almost like struggling with a living opponent. But how...?

"Well well well!" A tinny voice clipped out from-Clark closed his eyes...three speakers hidden in the walls around him. "The Man of Steel. I admire your perception! Not everyone can follow a pair of Supafly Jet Boots! But tell me this, Superman? Can you handle the genius computer brain...of Captain Baud's Hypothetical Press?!"

Can he? Who is Captain Baud? And what is the terrible secret of the Science Pirates?! Find out next month, in the adventures...of Superman!

18 comments or Leave a comment
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 19th, 2007 06:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
Another is present, indistinguishable from the shadows. The Hypothetical Press is immediately subjected to a structural inspection. Every machine has a weakness, regardless of size or strength. He means to exploit it.
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 19th, 2007 06:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Nyyrrgh..." Superman grunts, his legs shaking from the weight.

The Hypothetical Press seems, at first, to be a standard hydrolic press, with typical weak points. A weight adjustment here, a blocked tube there, and the thing'll break under its own weight. The problem comes in when trying to find the specifics; one moment, Batman can tell that he needs to take out a support valve to stop the machine...and the next, said valve isn't all that important. The Press's weak spots seem to have the same protean nature as the weight of the press itself...but, a scientist of Batman's caliber could, theoreticly, predict the next place the Hypothetical Press is going to change, and swing at /that/ weak spot, disabling the machine. The only problem is, Bruce would need a few minutes of peace in order to do the calculations.

"Hands in the air, squab!" Snaps the voice of a woman, running out of the tunnel to Batman's right. She's equipped with a strange mish-mash of bleeding edge tech and "pirate" looking cloathing she probably got out of a Halloween store. The glowing goggles say how she found the Batman, or at least his general area..."-wow, I've totally got a cape at gunpoint. This is so keen!"
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 19th, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Her enthusiasm will be short lived. Even as the words escape her mouth, a leg swings out to disarm her.
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 19th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
BLAM! The gun goes off as it's kicked out of her hand, the depleated grapeshot slamming into Superman's chest; the Man of Steel grunts, his arms shuddering under the renewed pressure of the machine, but manages to keep on his feet. "Nice...aim..." He's even managed a smile in the Batman's direction.

As for the young Science Pirate, she's torn between gap mouthed shock and taking a picture with her cell phone. "The guys at the dorm are never going to believe this..."

There's a CREEEEAAAKKKK, as Superman's position on the floor starts shuddering. "Whatever you're doing!" Clark calls out, "Do it quick!"
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 19th, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
The guys at the dorm? Lips twist into a snarl feared by the most hardened of criminals. If she pulls out her cell phone, she'll most likely be eating it.

"Run. Now."
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 19th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Um, well, it's part of..." The girl hems and haws, apperently having been frightened into forgetting what she was doing. She sounds like she's going to cry.

And then the enormous SMASH rings out through the abandoned subway; the Hypothetical Press has crashed through the floor!

"Into the all concealing shadows!" The Science Pirate shouts, leaping on...yes, a Segway scooter and driving away at a brisk walking pace.

Meanwhile, beneath the earth's crust,
"Ow." Superman grunts, rubbing his head. "I think I skinned my knee, jeep-" Clark is, sadly, cut off from his indulgence in foul language by an angry young man in a rocket powered golf cart.

"FIGHT THE POWER, YEAH! SCI-PI FO'LIFE!" The young man shouts, pulling what looks like the twisted child of a chainsaw and a 3-Iron out into the air! "Your star spangled tyranny is over, Supe..." The Golfer Pirate's eyes widen as he sees the spedometer start slowing...

...on account of Superman having kicked his legs out; he's still being shoved through the sub-basement's concrete, sending hunks of metal, stone, and sundry all over the area...which, convienantly, makes enough noise for Batman to make his way down to the labryanth if he so chooses...as he shoves against the Rocket Cart.

"What was that..." Superman grunts, finally able to take a tenative step forward, "About 'star spangled tyranny', young man?"
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 19th, 2007 07:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
'Tyranny' has hands. One of them is currently gathering up the pirate by his collar. Off the scooter, the pirate is dragged. "How many more of you are there?"
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 19th, 2007 07:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Oh Go-"

"Could we..." Superman grunts as he punches a hole through the Rocket Golf Cart's engine block, frowing a little at his now stained suit. "...skip the awe and terror part, and maybe get straight to the answers, please? I'm sorry to rush, but we've done this three times today." And if you let Bruce get his drama queen on, he /never stops/.

"Well, um, Misters Men sirs!" The girl chirps out, "We can't really tell you! Two reasons. Um, first, we don't know. There's the core crew, but Captain Baud uses local hooligans to do a lot of his work too! Says it's a firmer control group that way."

"Stop giving away our eldrich secrets!" The angry pirate snarls, shaking a fist at the perky pirate, "What's wrong with you!"

"Well, um, the second reason, really!"

Years of experience...and superhuman hearing...cause Superman to turn around. "...you're kidding me."

They're not. A subway train is roaring towards Batman and Superman, the front of the machine torn open so as to resemble the hungry maw of some terrible sea creature!

"...our ride's here." Perky Pirate finishes, before trying to jab her elbow into Batman's gut. If successful, the taser hidden within the elbow armor will go off!
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 19th, 2007 08:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
The key operative word is 'try'. The arm travels halfway before being twisted to the point of immobility. The grapple gun is freed from his belt and a second later, the line is anchored.

"I suggest we take a trip then." Come one, come all. Right down the belly of the beast.
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 19th, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Aaah!" Perky Pirate shouts, quickly subdued by good old fashioned pain.

There's no time for Superman to be mildly dissaproving-she was going at him with a stun gun, after all. And as Batman grapples, the Man of Steel leaps, hurtling into the air and kicking his legs out a second before he would make impact with one of those sharp, jagged teeth. Sliding along the train's floor, Superman finally stops against one of the larger seats, letting out a long breath of relief.

"Still beats trying to drive a car in Gotham." Superman quips, pulling himself up to his feet. In all of the commotion, the Man of Steel has yet to notice the grim form making itself known behind him. A broad, crab-like machine of pig iron, standing on strange, tentacle-like legs and posessing a machine gun arm, a mobile claw, and a rack of missles. At the center, just in front of the bathosphereic cockpit, is a large skull and crossbones symbol, the skull having a model of an atom on its forehead. Captain Baud, a skinny young man wearing a Captain Hookesque greatcoat and posessing a cybernetic arm, is piloting the machine.

"So, what's our next step?" Superman asks, as the terrible claw slowly lifts up over his head...
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 19th, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
The pirate in arms is hurled to the side. Palmed and readied is a single batarang. A split second later, it takes flight.

On a direct course for the Man of Steel.

"Get DOWN!"

If it finds its mark, the looming claw will be severed.
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 19th, 2007 11:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bruce used an exclimation point: serious busniess time. Superman ducks down, just in time to avoid the swipe of the crab claw, which procedes to open itself up-deflecting the batarang! The faint buzzing sound and the gleaming insides of the claw confirm Superman's fears...

"That thing's claws are lines with a diamond edged chainsaw!" Superman exclaims, because he isn't sure if he wouldn't get cut by that, let alone Batman. The Man of Steel hops backwards, his eyes focusing for a second...

...and two of the machine's missles explode mid-air, thanks to a healthy dose of heat vision! Unfortunately for Batman, the crab-monster shot three missles at him. "Batman!" Superman shouts, "Jump into my arms!"

He pauses a second. "...that's not what it sounds like!" Superman protests to any snicering supervillains in the audience.
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 20th, 2007 04:16 am (UTC) (Link)
The trust he's placed in this man is absolute. Without hesitation, he launches himself towards Superman.
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 20th, 2007 06:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
There is only one way for this to go.

Superman HURLS Batman at the cockpit, sending a blast of heat vision as cover fire for the Dark Knight. "You have no idea how cathartic this is."
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 20th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
The shift in momentum is enough to alert him to the intent of the maneuver. The human projectile has a fist ready for the machine's operator.
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 20th, 2007 07:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
"This doesn't compuuut-" CRASH! Captain Baud is punched firmly in the face. So firmly, in fact, that his jaw pops right off!

Don't worry, it's because the guy was a robot. The Giant Enemy Crap shudders, its legs collapsing out from under it, as Superman makes his way up to the machine. His eyes are oddly focused but not focused...a tell tale sign of his X-Ray vision.

"Thanks for the data, love and kisses, the infamous Captain Baud..." Superman trails off. "Written inside the machine's chest component. ...any ideas?" The whole thing has the greasy stank of Oswald Loomis, being used to test equipment or a scheme...but, these people seemed to be working on their own. Almost like college kids doing a project-'My Undergradulate Thesis Was A Supervillain Streak', Superman thinks. Hey, it'd make a good story name.
anotherknight From: anotherknight Date: September 20th, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
The detective is already inspecting what's left of the dead hulk. Damaged circuitry and exposed panels give him the clues he requires to confirm Superman's suspicions. "We get our hands on Loomis."
metromarvel From: metromarvel Date: September 20th, 2007 11:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Figured this had too much of a sense of humor to be Luthor or Brainiac." Superman murmurs, nodding at Batman.

This is about when the Man of Steel's stomach grumbles. Loudly.

"Heh." Clark rubs the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly. "Had to skip lunch. ...don't think we'll have time to stop at the drive-through before tracking down the Prankster's lair?"
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